Adding two cents worth of salt to the apple bite

I intended to start blogging straight after the introduction, but me being me, I decided to slack off and play World of Warcraft instead...oh whatever; here it is: 10 Reasons why Not to Buy a Mac,

Apple computers have become increasingly popular over the past half-decade or so, but I am fiercely against buying these overpriced machines. Here's a list of reasons why YOU, an informed computer user and consumer should avoid that cyanide-laced, half-bitten apple.

1. Macs are no longer what they claim to be: Originally, Macs were advertised for anti-corporate, free-thinking users that refused to buy Microsoft because of its monopoly. In other words, computer for hippies. Over the years Apple still refuses to change it image or slogan even though they now have approximately 10% of the market share. This "think different, get a mac" image also contains a heavy dose of irony. When you use Windows, the direct competitor of a Mac, you have to consider which brand of hardware you want to use, and you can customise your desktop by switching the insides whenever you want. Macs on the other hand, are all the same. You cannot customise them; you cannot break them open to upgrade it. So by trying to be non-conformist and buying a Mac, you're actually being more of a corporate slave than if you bought a PC.
   
2. Apple is not paying the full price it should: This one isn't actually Apple's fault, but I'll still put it here. Over the past decade the European Commission has fined Microsoft billions upon billions of dollars, mostly on the charge of bundling - a legal and economic term that means tying one of your lesser products with your more popular products in order to defeat competitors in the lesser product market. The EC accused them of bundling Window Media Player and Internet Explorer with Windows XP and Vista. Might I remind those fat, corrupted retards working for the Commission that Apple does the exact same thing with Mac OS X and Safari/ITunes/Final Cut Pro etc. It is simply impossible to sell to a consumer who can't be bothered to download programs without these things. If the EC were to be fair, they would charge both Microsoft and Apple the same amount for the same "crime". But they don't, so Apple is actually has an unfair competitive edge, what Microsoft is normally accused of having.
   
3. Apple bundles hardware as well: If you use a PC, you get to choose what hardware you actually use. Microsoft does not actually force you to buy computers from any particular supplier. In fact, you can even use it most direct competitors computers if you want. But Apple? They refuse to sell Mac OS's individually. If you want the OS, you have to buy a Mac. That is anti-competitive behavior. Apple has crucified a number of companies for making Mac OS X compatible hardware on the basis of copyright laws. So if you want to use a Mac in anyway but the way they want you to use it, you're a criminal...nice.
   
4. Compatibility: Because of Apple's mule-like stubborness, you can only use file formats designed by Apple, for Macs. This extends to other Apple products too. You cannot load a movie in anything but .mp4 format onto an IPod, nor could you load music in .wav or other Mac-disapproved formats. You cannot run a .exe on a Mac, making humongous problems for program designers. And because Mac has a smaller market share, using a Mac will isolate you from the rest of the computer world in terms of file sharing, because if your friend has this awesome program he wants to show you, he can't because Apple is too stubborn you allow you to use all that Microsoft-poisoned goodness.
   
5. Apple is, literally, gay: the Apple logo is officially stated to be a homage to Isaac Newton and the apple that fell on his head; a symbol of inspiration and ingenuity, but Newton was never cited to bite the apple after it hit him; quite the opposite. Instead of just picking up the ripe and juicy apple and eating it like a normal human would, he began to think. So the more likely story is that the Apple logo is a reference to Alan Turing, who is hailed as the inventor of computers. Alan Turing died by taking a bite into a cyanide laced apple while in his lab. Whether that is a accident, an assassination attempt or a suicide romantically played out to be like Turing's favorite Snow White is up for debate. But one thing is certain. Alan Turing was gay and was actively prosecuted by the British government for it. In fact, he was considered a security risk because he was the driving force behind the cracking of the German Enigma code during WWII and being gay, he is somehow more likely to sell out the secrets that he helped unveil. The 1997 Apple logo was in the colour of a rainbow as a tribute to the Rainbow Flag that symbolises homosexuality. So Apple is, as a matter of fact, gay. So next time you meet an Apple fanboy/girl, you can call Apple gay and have a reason for it.
   
6. Macs are manufactured by their competitors: My family has several friends in the Hi-Tech business in Taiwan. In fact, we ARE in the hi-tech business. So we know that about 90% of the world's laptops are made by a handful of Taiwanese companies. These companies are all ODMs - original desig manufacturers - which means they designed the laptops and make them then stamp on the logos of other companies. One of them, Asus, has their own brand as well, and is often hailed as the direct competitor to Macbooks because of their high quality. And guess what, Asus is Apple largest supplier and manufacturer of laptops. So when you buy a Mac in defiance of monopolised products, you're actually spending 200 odd dollar just on that Apple logo they stamped on the thing.
   
7. Macs are overpriced: As a result of point 6, Macs are overpriced. Instead of giving profits to one company, you now have to pay for two, one of which doesn't do anything. An equally good Asus laptop costs about 200 or so dollars less than a Mac, and they came out of the same factory, so why bother wasting your money.
   
8. If you use a Mac, you're Apple's slave: Because of the compatibility issues, as well as Apple's hardware monopoly, once you use Apple you can't use any accessories that aren't stamped with a bitten apple. If you do, it looks ugly. In the Apple stores where you buy Macs they bend over backwards to make you get every IAccessory(tm) they have in stock. Like I said, Apple doesn't like customers that can THINK.
   
9. Macs can't right click: When you want to display the options of a file in Windows, you right click. In Macs, you have to press two buttons at once when you know that they could've made it to be just one. For gamers like me, that's even more of a problem. You can't actually game without two mouse buttons. It just doesn't work. There is at least two often used functions that you must have right at your finger tips. If you have to reach for your ctrl button when you need to snipe an enemy in Call of Duty 4, chances are that the enemy has already headshotted you. Of course you can buy an IMouse, but that thing also has one massive button and you must figure out how far to the right is actually right click. If you use another mouse, then it looks ugly, again.
   
10. Gaming on a Mac is like shaving with a bowling pin: It doesn't work. I've played World of Warcraft on both Macs and PCs and with Macs it's just awkward. Also there just aren't any serious game maker that would design their game to fit a Mac. Avid gamers know what its like so you never see a proper gamer at any convention wielding a Mac.
    

So there...I'm tired now so there is no proper conclusion, but whatever...